WORDS OF A MADMAN: LET’S TALK ABOUT DOUBT by Olisa Eloka

Thank you so much for stopping by. Yes, thank you. I really appreciate. I hope you don’t sleep off out of boredom as you partake in this ride. My ride.
Before I hit the nail, let me go biblical. I hope talking bible stories is not yet an offence punishable by death. Ok? Let’s talk then.
I grew up listening to the story of the apostle of Christ named Thomas or Didymus which means the twin. Thomas is well remembered whenever the story of the resurrection of Jesus Christ is told—he is that apostle that after been told by his master that he would be killed but on the third day would rise from the dead—just like that—still did not believe when the much talked about resurrection happened. His doubt, clearly, indicated that he never believed his master, Jesus, when the man was talking about resurrection all along; Thomas must be saying in his heart then, what the hell is this man even saying? Anyway, let us watch and see how it will all end. It must really be a sign of madness to him when after Easter, his fellow apostles went like, bros Tom, the boss don rise o. Ask me my opinion and I would say that our dear Thomas never believed in what Jesus had been saying about the temple been pulled down and been rebuilt on the third day. But then, maybe he believed Jesus’ teaching about the resurrection. Yes, maybe he believed. But when he was told, that belief left him—that human nature of him went into action. And then he started singing a different song from, I believe to I have to see the wound in his palms, touch his sides, and put my damn finger in the holes of his feet. Yeah. Yeah, Brother Tom had no time for cock and bull story. He had to see the facts. The goddamn facts!
Now, why did I talk about brother Tom who legend tells us had his head chopped off in India? The answer is simple. I want to talk about doubt, I want to talk about that part of us that needs to see before it believes any bullshit we are told.
For example, today, we are told by our priests and pastors and reverends and other pulpit people that Jesus was right when he said that blessed are those who do not see but believe. Of course any Christian believes that Jesus is right. Jesus is always right. Christianity is all about faith, all about believing without seeing.
So because we must believe without seeing, we are compelled to believe any rubbish that is flung our way.
Because we just need to believe and not see, we must constantly keep on paying things like tithes in churches to goddamn pastors that use our hard-earned money to feed their stomach and keep their health status fit while we go home hungry, believing that we have contributed our own quota to the growth of God’s ministry. Oh how great our reward is in heaven!
But hello passionate Christian, ever had enough commonsense to ever ask your religious leader what those tithe money are used for? Ever had enough guts to ask that you see the effect of your contribution in other for you to believe that God’s will is being done on earth? Ever been wise enough to ask why the fuck should tithes be paid? Of course you haven’t. Whenever you hear, brothers and sisters in the Lord, let us offer our tithes to the Most High, your hands are always the first to go into your purse, searching for money to give—money you might never have. But wait a minute. Must tithe be given in cash? Is there somewhere in the bible where it is written that tithe is another name for money collection? If there is, please tell me; I can’t remember the last time I flipped through the pages of my bible.
Oh, sorry I went off track a bit. This tithe thing dey pain me sha. All these fraudulent vagabonds that call themselves pastors have turned our senses upside down. Pastors my black ass! Wait o. Did I say our senses? Nah! It’s only the senses of those that have malfunctioning commonsense.
Still talking about doubt, some people think that having doubts about things are sinful—things that are mostly found in the bible. For example, when you doubt the authenticity of the bible, you are severely warned to be careful, that the devil is at work.
When you question the infallibility of the pope, and how really holy is the Holy See, you are seen as one of those heretics that deserve to be burnt at stakes. Ask offensive questions about Mohammed and get ready for a fatwa. Ask the traditional man in the village why he is worshipping a god of wood and stone, and he will invoke a combination of Amadioha and Sango’s thunder on you.
You see, most people do not let others express doubt on things they believe in—things they believe they understand. Doubt should be killed, they believe.
There are many things we do not understand about the world, and when we doubt some of our realities, we start to be criticized, we are told to start getting our asses ready for the unforgiving fires of hell.
But is doubt a bad thing?
Hell no. Doubt clearly shows the presence of commonsense in a skull. It is only a fool that will believe whatever he is told without even asking questions, showing signs of scepticism. According to the biblical account of The Fall of Man, Eve was brainwashed by the serpent into tasting the forbidden fruit. Why did man fall so easily? Because he believed everything an animal told him—because he did not have enough commonsense to doubt the truthfulness of the devil’s lie. What irritates me about that account of the fall of man is that a serpent came out of nowhere came and told man to eat the fruit of the tree. And man did! He ate without even bothering to tell God that this was what wise serpent said. I think that God was infuriated not merely because man disobeyed him but that man bought into the devil’s godforsaken lie without even wondering, what if the serpent is wrong? What if the animal just finished five bottles of heavenly Origin and does not know what he is rattling? Too bad for us, man did not wonder. He gladly ate.
And what was the result of believing without doubting?
Man was kicked out of Eden’s gate. Never to come back. God get temper sha
Hey, wait a moment, will you? I am talking about the biblical account of the fall of man, how sure are we that that account is true? That there was even any serpent? That Eden really existed? What if these are well-constructed lies that have survived generations? But then, what if that account is true? See? Doubt is a tricky business.
If you want to doubt, doubt wisely.
Thank you so much for listening to the words of a madman. You can go your way now.